I think it is no coincidence I am writing this piece during Libra Eclipse season '24. The eclipses bring us much needed realignment and change into our lives. However, this eclipse is really asking us to step away from ideas, thoughts, and programming that no longer serves us.
For myself, I am having thoughts that I am not ready to be seen. I am not trained enough or experienced enough to be sharing my opinion. I am not experienced enough to be charging the prices I am. There are people more talented than me and I should step aside until I have mastered all it is that is to be mastered.
The problem with this thinking is it is so self limiting and it is keeping myself small. No one wins when we keep ourselves small. We are all gifted and have poignant insight to share. We have had experiences unique to us that allow us to share perspectives that may be otherwise missed. Playing small from the world seeing us and from ourselves recognizing our talents is a disservice to us and our souls.
Marianne Williamson said "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure". When I sit to digest this I initially think to myself "that's wrong". I would love to be powerful beyond measure. To be powerful beyond measure I need to acknowledge to myself that I have always had this power from within. Sometimes it is simply easier to say "I can't" versus trudging through the mud and the deep shadows within ourselves to find this light of power.
Society does a fine job of conditioning us especially within the United States. When I was in high school it was touted you absolutely need a college degree to get a job in the work force. Now you have millions of post graduate students in debt and a large majority have never used their degree within their job once. I'm not saying that an undergraduate degree is useless. I am saying that how we have perpetuated a system that makes you believe you must be trained in order to be "knowledgeable".
Wayne Dyer says "change the way you look at things and that the things you look at change". Have you ever met someone so engrained in their own limed beliefs, conscious or unconscious, they simply cannot see it from any other way?
This is the realization of the necessity to decondition. So what does it really mean to decondition? If I'm being honest to decondition is not an easy nor fun process. Will it be illuminating? Yes. Will it be freeing? Absolutely. Will it always be fun? Hell no.
When you consider your way of thinking and your response to objectives in life you have to ask yourself am I doing this because it's true to my authentic self or am I doing this because it is what I have been told to do?
A great example is how it was very common for kids to graduate high school, get married and immediately begin having children. Then slowly society began showing they have different options. Now that stigma is not quite as enforced (some millennials and gen z's may have had different experiences with their parents here). However, over time it became more societally accepted. Whereas it was more ostracized in the mid 1900's.
How do we go about becoming conscious to these unconscious programs?
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How or where am I playing small in my life?
Is there anything I was interested in, but never allowed myself to pursue?
What projections from others have I received that I internalized as my own?
If there was anything I could change about myself or my life what would they be?
What is holding me back from implementing small changes to achieve this?
Is there anything I was taught to think but truly don't align with?
If I could go back and redo something what would it be?
Why do you want to redo something and is there a way you can have a second shot at this now?
Easy ways to decondition
Meditation
Meditation can be sitting in stillness and movement! Taking a walk can put your mind in a meditative state allowing you to ask yourself these questions and probe
Journaling
Use the prompts above and continue with your own questions. Ask yourself any questions that have been coming up for yourself. Pause, breath, and feel what comes in. Is it a conscious knowing or the subconsciously beginning to flow through? Write it down.
Being mindful in settings
It wasn't until I sat in my body did I realize how much I disliked being in large crowds. I feel too much erratic energy that it's not conducive for myself. It wasn't until I really learned to say yes to what made me feel good and happy I began declining events with large crowds.
Connecting to nature
I receive so much in the stillness of nature. Watching the water flow, seeing the birds dive in the air, the squirrel be completely unbothered by my dog. Watching and connecting to nature allows my reptilian brain to shut off and a magical flow of creative inspiration and messages to be received often feeling like my thoughts, but they're more profound.
I am not perfect. In human design I am a 3/5 which means I "fail".... a lot. I never viewed it as failure, but as a life lived with wanting to try to see what worked for me. When it didn't I pivoted. When I was 26 I was making significant income at a staffing job and I left it to try a career in commercial real estate. When I looked back I didn't regret leaving a highly lucrative job. I didn't regret starting a minimum wage CRE career. I regretted not taking 6 months off to travel and see the world. When I was 32 I was given the opportunity to work remote from anywhere so long as I worked US hours. So I took that opportunity and traveled.
That was a perfect example of looking into my life and analyzing what is and isn't working and what does my heart and soul crave? Society will tell me that I shouldn't spend a year abroad, especially with a pet. I did it and it was the most illuminating chapter of my life.
Deconditioning is like an onion. It comes in layers. As you see with my one example above that took over 6 years to manifest a second opportunity. Through that opportunity I got out of my comfort zone and realized how many projections from society and the US I integrated and kept as my own. However, they did not align with my core being, my authentic self.
In the end, the reason for deconditioning is to really unravel the pieces of you that no longer serves you. It is the opportunity to become the greatest version of yourself that you have been.
What are some ways you feel like your conditioning has kept you from it's greatest version?
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