Shadow Work - Bringing the unconscious conscious to heal

The concept of shadow work was developed by psychoanalyst Carl Jung, who coined the term "shadow self" to describe the parts of ourselves that we repress. Shadow work is built to integrate these cut-off parts back into your whole self.

Carl Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate." From both personal experience and witnessing others, it is incredibly easy to live life unconscious, dictated by an inner masqued self.

In my late 20's, I was trying to date and I could never make it out of the dating phase into the serious phase with any of them. Once I began introspecting myself, I realized that all these men were emotionally unavailable. However, I selected them because they were a mirror of myself. I was emotionally unavailable.

Life is a mirror to show us where we are not healed. Triggers, as emotionally volatile as they can be, are excellent ways to show us what area in life we are not healed. It is a constant work. You may believe that the area you spent years fixing is healed only to have someone new trigger you. Thus, you get to dive deeper into your psyche learning more.

Shadow work allows us to bring the unconscious conscious to heal, but it can be an evolving journey to get there. Many of us began creating these shadow selves in childhood. The shadow is typically the subconscious or an unconscious self we are disconnected from because of shame, pain, or programming.

Let's dive into some examples of this! Let's look at the desire to always appear dressed well. However, the motivation to dress well is rooted in self-acceptance and that if you don't present well to others you will not be accepted. Ultimately, your motivations and actions have the ulterior motive for societal acceptance.

Another example of this could be the inability to show emotion. Perhaps as a child when you expressed emotion you were shunned, punished, or made to believe you were being too much. Thus you began to suppress your emotions, self-isolate, or self-regulate. Now as an adult, you have a hard time expressing your emotions to people, being vulnerable, or relying on others.

It could be as simple as negative feedback, too! In middle school, I really loved the idea of writing and art. However, my English and Art teachers always made me feel insecure about my work. Therefore, I did not pursue either creative outlet because I felt inadequate.

Brene Brown has fascinating research she interviewed men and women and 85% remembered a shaming event that changed the way they saw themselves. Fifty percent of that group that wound was around creativity.

There is a lot of talk in the spiritual world about healing. The truth about healing is it's lifelong. Shadow work is another way to heal, but more so it is a way to help you live a life authentic to you. Reclaiming the parts of yourself you have locked and shunned away.

It is only through incorporating our shadow can we begin incorporating all parts of ourselves. It is said when you don't like something about someone ask yourself "why". More times than not there is a trait they have that we never gave ourselves permission to that is triggering us. (In my opinion, this statement does not apply to everyone).

So how can we begin to go on this journey of self-reclamation?

How to do shadow work

The essence of shadow work is that it is deeply rooted in your subconscious. A part of ourselves we live from but can be unaware of. Through these techniques listed below, it can allow you to get

Meditation

Meditation is one of the best ways to do shadow work. The reason I love meditation work is because you quiet the mind.

During waking hours your brain is mostly operating in Beta. Beta brainwaves are best for solving problems and decision-making. However, in meditation, your brain reduces to either Alpha or Theta brainwaves.

Thus linked to relaxed states that bring more reflective awareness or intuition. These brainwaves can easily pass the barrier that bridges the conscious and subconscious.

There are guided meditations that specifically help you uncover shadow work. Self-guided meditations can also provide results. For newer meditators and individuals fresh to this work, I would recommend a guided meditation so you understand the flow of the meditation.

It is important during meditation to let whatever wants to appear to appear. Try not to fight it even if it seems implausible. The subconscious can speak in symbols and ways the memories have formed. Be open to what comes in. Write it down if you can so you don't forget.

You also want to acknowledge and feel the emotions that arise. It is not uncommon for us to bring awareness to emotions. Fully feel the emotion. Allowing yourself to feel it can be less emotional moving forward.

Journaling

Journaling offers a reprieve for the emotional self. If you're not into journaling, I'll admit it took me a while, too. Once I began a more regimented practice (being more diligent regarding weekly or daily entries), I began to crave it.

Journaling offers so much more than a basic insight into your day-to-day life. Journaling can be writing about the challenges you're facing to having journal prompts allowing you to dive deep into your psyche and understand yourself better.

There is also a type of writing called automatic writing. Automatic writing is when you essentially become a channel to write freely. Express whatever wants to come out. Personally when I automatically write I know that it is either from deep within or an exterior force coming in to provide me guidance and insight. When you journal this way enough it is easy to distinguish when it's coming from my mind or something deeper.

Observation

As you begin to bring the unconscious conscious take note of your behavior.

• Are you having experiences where you're unable to maintain a regulated emotional state?

• Is something upsetting you? Is there a theme of why you're getting upset?

• What belief or story have you attached to these emotions you're feeling?

• Does this feeling or situation remind you of something familiar?

Analyzing our emotions, moods, and situations, we create the space for the root of these issues to reveal themselves. I firmly believe the universe is always teaching us. It is always encouraging us to return to our whole healed selves. Embracing the life lessons and working systematically to integrate these shadows back into ourselves.

Observing your actions and moods will help you understand when you are living life from a subconscious state. For example, people-pleasing behaviors versus remaining strong in your will of what you would prefer and what is authentic to you.

Add these observations to your journal so you can track it and see your progress down the line.

Sit with your emotions

Have you ever felt like you just needed to cry? I have. A lot. So I create a safe space to allow myself to feel what is coming up. You see when we segmented parts of ourselves these emotions can get trapped in our nervous system and in our body. It has even been studied that the body stores certain emotions in certain areas. For example, the hips store grief, pain, and trauma.

Your body acts as a river and if the emotions build up it becomes a dam. You don't need to cry to release it, but if that is what feels good then do so. Allowing ourselves to feel emotions allows our bodies to release it rather than store it. Sitting with your emotions is crucial in the releasing stage. Just taking inventory and experiencing the emotion is what it wants. The more often you allow for this the easier it is to move through it.

Therapy & Coaching

Therapy is always a great choice, especially if you are struggling with mental health disorders. Seek a trained mental health professional to work with.

Coaching can be a great alternative for someone who is looking to transition through this work. My 3-month coaching container Awaken will also teach you fundamental tools for shadow work along with other tools to help you integrate your shadows and ultimately become the best version of yourself.

If you have any questions regarding shadow work or Awaken shoot me a message at contact@iamkellystevens.com.