Fear is an intricate emotion engraved so heavily into our DNA, but how does fear impact us, in this modern time? Long ago fear helped keep you safe. Having a natural fear of snakes allowed you to flee from possibly venomous ones thus saving your life. However, in a modern world does fear more often than not contribute to our inability to move forward?
Using myself as an example, I would say I’m very adventurous, but it comes at a cost: pain. The fear of being in pain will divert me from certain activities. Let’s take rock jumping for one. The fear of breaking a bone outweighs the possible enjoyment I’d receive from the adrenaline high of the jump.
This is an example where it may not seem like it greatly impacts one’s life. Yet, if we begin to apply more internal fear-based concerns than external and life-threatening, we can see where we begin to have an issue.
In 2020, I knew I wanted to leave the sales world. It was a world I had long felt disconnected from and was desperately seeking a change. So I began to program. Yes, I learned how to program in Python to get into a data science course. Ultimately, over 9 months after I started and $16,000 spent I graduated with a Data Science Bootcamp Certificate.
Before enrolling in the program I did what any logical person would do. I vetted the industry to look at job requirements, the likelihood of applicants, backgrounds, etc. I’m quite a paradox because I am highly intuitive and love the esoteric, but I am also incredibly logical and analytical. This new career path excited me more than something like software engineering. I could envision myself being the liaison to bridge the gap between the technical and non-technical.
That was until I graduated and could barely get any interviews. What I didn’t realize was data science is incredibly competitive and with the insurgence of recent bootcamp grads a lot of restrictions were placed on the roles and more candidates applied to the entry-level ones.
Before this experience, any leap of faith I had ever taken went well or well enough for me. These prior experiences allowed me to take a step back from any fears of change and truly surrender to the universe. I would say “I trust you will catch me”.
I was caught alright. I was caught right back into Sales. This leap shattered me, but I didn’t recognize it.
If anyone has ever tried something and failed miserably and tried immediately again I applaud you. I don’t think I had ever poured more effort into anything I had ever done and ended up as short as I did. I had just turned 30 and felt like an old dog can’t learn new tricks.
I will say this experience shaped a lot of my remaining years. Still feeling unfulfilled from sales I continued on until I had a job I liked enough. The thought always lingered in the back of my mind. What else am I good enough for that I may be able to pivot to?
I share this story because one event can alter our habits and trajectory. Before this experience, I had hopped around in different industries. After I wasn't as prone to risk-taking. It was all because of fear, my fear of failing again.
Whether it is the fear of getting hurt romantically, the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of failure, or the fear of financial burdens. Any fear can cause us to act in a way we deem "safe" but can be prohibitive to our self-development and ultimate goals.
Releasing fears can take some time, but for your most unabridged life that is authentic to yourself, it's, in my opinion, essential.
How do you become aware of these fears?
Spend time with yourself and understand what your internal and external fears are.
For example, if you historically have struggled to find yourself in relationships analyze why this may be. You may find yourself having a deep fear of abandonment, but select emotionally unavailable partners that trigger this fear.
Feel your emotions when you identify your fears.
How does it feel when you think about these fears? How would it feel if these fears became true? What does it feel like if these fears would not come true?
Take note of your nervous system.
Is your nervous system regulated? Are you feeling dysregulation? It's very common to have a dysregulated nervous system which makes it more common to have difficulty overcoming your fears.
Deep breaths throughout the discovery process.
Bring your mind back into your body and slow down your breath syncing your heart rate. This will help release stress.
Releasing fears are a work in progress. Introspection is necessary to get deep into the underlying reason. However, what triggers us allows us to see where we are not fully healed. Although it can feel like a battle I am grateful when I am shown my present triggers for I would not have realized the opportunity to heal.
What themes are presenting in your life, and what fears may be underneath allowing you to resolve them? How can you release your fears to become your best self?
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